Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Make me laugh!

Share your own laughs!


JereAnn said...

Pictures of my kids when they were little. Videos of my kids when they were little.

Sherry said...

I just discovered your blog via Facebook! The picture of you and Wade made me LAUGH because you are such hippies. Mauri makes me LAUGH. He's a very silly man. Here's a joke he made up: "Early one morning I woke up with the urge to go through the alphabet...until I got up to P." Haa Haa!

JereAnn said...

If you haven't discovered "Flight of the Conchords" you should.

All you have to do is go to YouTube and do a search.

My favorite clips are:

"The most beautiful girl in the room."

"Bret, youv'e got it going on."

"Albi the racist dragon."

"If that's what your'e into."

These guys will get into your head and make you hum their songs all day long.

Let me know what you think!

JereAnn said...

This made me laugh so hard. It's long, but worth it at the end.

(This is a story my sister-in-law sent me. Don’t know if it is true, but it is funny.)

Mr. Reptileman is telling the story.

Here's what happened: Just after breakfast one recent Saturday, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed.

I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!" "Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife. "Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!) "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth." "Oh, gross!" they shrieked in unison.

"Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, knowingly.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged. "Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?) "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. "I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

My wife and I drove our son and his patient to the vet. After waiting for what seemed like hours, the vet finally appeared and took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically. "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. "Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they umm … um . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing th is. "So, Ernie's just, just . . excited," my wife offered. "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle.

And giggle.

And then even laugh loudly. "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. Tears were now running down her face.

"It's just that . . . . . I'm picturing you pulling on its . . . its, teeny little . . "

She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more. "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me. "Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter again.

Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie: Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class. Lizards lay eggs!

JereAnn said...

This weekend we watched home videos of the kids. Since it was Jesse's graduation from high school, we thought it would be fun to watch some of his baby videos at his graduation party.

We laughed so hard. It is so much fun remembering your kids as babies.

The neat thing about videos is that you remember things long forgotten. You know...the little things your kids used to do and say. I know everyone thinks that their own kids are the cutest and funniest but our kids were REALLY something special.

Brenna and Kalie were hilarious together. Kalie wanted to be just like Brenna. Brenna wanted Kalie under her thumb. The two of them interacting, pretending, dancing, acting and fighting made for some pretty good memories. Did I really just walk around with a video camera strapped to my shoulder?

I am sure I was just making sure we documented the kids for the grandparents out west. Yes, that was it!

However, no matter what the reason, the result is worth watching over, and over and over. Like the little 8 mm clip of my sister, Jo. She was probably about 9 months old and she was sitting in a bouncy chair of some kind. At first she was bouncing softly but then all of a sudden she erupted with a HUGE bounce, looking more like she was having a seizure. I remember watching this clip with my siblings when we were younger. Boy did we laugh!! Paul or Mark would always rewind the tape so we could watch it again. We'd laugh as if it was the first time we'd seen it.

At least now we have a VHS tape: it's much easier to rewind.

Anonymous said...

You guys always thought that bouncing thing was way more hilarious than it actually was... :-)
From the poor tortured little sister